As Sewn, I Remember
A baby quilt, a poem, and the memories of a mother-daughter bond stitched into every block.
How we were sewn together
What We Have Sewn
Many quilts were never finished;
It was about the process.
We schemed, we planned,
we learned, and sat in classes.
Escaping our loneliness,
on the drives, to and fro; we chatted.
Planning brought togetherness,
each heart protected.
With just the right pattern pieces,
our hearts and minds were connected.
We'd meet, shop and find.
And really enjoyed our time.
But, now you have passed.
So shocked. I was.
I am.
I still feel our losses.
At first, I felt an outcast.
No longer interested or at ease.
I cried, kept from our norms,
feeling exiled and not like me.
Without you to ground,
and guide my feet.
I didn’t really know how.
How forlorn I could be.
It was “really bad,” I hear.
Though everyone was kindness.
But, my mind had banned,
moving forward; it felt useless.
My projects stilled,
and alas.
Ten years, plus,
are now past.
Oh, Mom,
I can't embellish.
Only key projects existed since;
Few were even finished.
Your first great grandchild.
Now, she was swaddled.
From the fabric packs and bundles we found.
On a last trip, maybe you know the one?
And I shared our tales,
at the shower.
The whole family cried again;
I wasn’t the only one.
After years, these tears have slowed,
yet continue to trickle.
Leaking now, always.
when thinking back.
Great grandchildren,
it was your wish.
Well, now there are lots!
Both girls and boys, so blessed.
And the few small quilts,
those that I have finished...
Still, they were created with you.
From our love, as mother and daughter.
A stash of memories,
threaded through my heart.
Where you are lock-stitched
and sewn into my patterns.
Those of me and with me,
where you'll ever be.My mother and I had a shopping habit. We’d go to local fabric stores and look for cute patterns. We always had ideas for what we could do with this or that fabric. Never any solid plans. And we honestly didn’t complete many of the projects… unless there was a deadline.
We had fun planning and coming up with project ideas, but I think the main thing was just being together, especially for my mother. We lost my father while I was in college, and after I bought my first house, I started roping her in to helping me make pillows and Halloween costumes.
When I got married, the projects turned into Christmas tree skirts, dog beds, and other small things. But the time together, scheming and planning our next sewing project, didn’t stop.
In fact, I might even say it accelerated. We had a regular schedule of shopping and planning out our projects. Almost every other weekend was a plan to look for the next piece needed.
We tried new machines—sewing, sergers, and embroidery—and had quite a few between us. We had a lot of fun.
I no longer remember the exact timing, but my mother and I were together when I bought this little package of fabric squares used in the quilt pictured above. My oldest niece was either about to get married or had just gotten married, and my mother had started dreaming of great-grandchildren.
She passed away unexpectedly less than two months after my niece’s wedding. So, when I shared at the baby shower that we had bought the fabric together, it brought tears.
This little blanket has now swaddled at least three of my mother’s great-grandchildren. I haven’t seen it in a while, but I honestly hope it has been so well-used that it shows signs of wear with thinned fabric and a few rips.
I don’t sew much anymore (for a variety of reasons), but nothing would make me happier than for something that represented a dream of my mother’s to actually have evidence that her dream came true.